Twenty-seven-year-old Chidera Kalu, a hairstylist from Abia State, embodies resilience after overcoming a traumatic past marked by sexual violence and a disability resulting from medical negligence in childhood. In this interview with Sunday PUNCH, she shares her journey of navigating the challenges of her past, conquering low self-esteem, and transforming her pain into purpose.
What were some of the early challenges you encountered while growing up?
I was not born with a physical disability. Tragically, when I was just two years old, I received a wrongly administered injection that changed the course of my life. By the time I was four, my condition had significantly deteriorated; my legs became bent, making it difficult to walk. From ages four to six, I faced increasing challenges, relying heavily on my hands and legs for mobility, which made even the simplest daily activities monumental tasks.
Reflecting on my childhood is painful; I didn’t truly enjoy those formative years. I felt isolated, watching other children run and play while I remained on the sidelines. At one point, my parents even questioned whether I was mentally impaired, as I hardly spoke and often sat in silence for hours. This silence masked a deep-seated sorrow that profoundly affected my self-esteem.
What actions did your parents take when they realized you were given the wrong injection?
My mother was a beacon of support during those dark times. She did everything in her power to find a solution for my condition, taking me to numerous specialist hospitals and clinics with high hopes of receiving help. My father also tried his best, but my mother’s unwavering dedication stood out. It was heartbreaking for her to witness my struggles, yet she never lost hope and continued searching for answers. She encouraged me to love myself and reminded me not to let anyone look down on me, constantly asserting that there were people I was better than.
Were you able to attend school?
Unfortunately, I couldn’t start school early due to numerous obstacles. Some people even advised my mother to enroll me in a school for children with disabilities because mainstream schools were unwilling to accept a child like me. Eventually, I was fortunate to be admitted to a primary school run by a compassionate Ghanaian.
After completing primary school, my father wanted to enroll me in a special school for physically challenged students, but I refused. I could not accept the label of disability, and in my stubbornness, I stayed home for three years. It felt like a denial of my identity, and I was determined not to be defined by my condition.
My father even paid a carpenter to make crutches for me, but I initially resisted using them. I didn’t want to be seen as someone deserving of pity or treated differently. Eventually, after much internal conflict, I agreed to use the crutches to aid my mobility.
I practiced diligently for over a year, but even then, I preferred to sit down whenever visitors came to our home. I dreaded the questions about my condition and the sympathetic looks that were so difficult to bear.
I progressed to secondary school, starting from Junior Secondary School 2, and I was lucky enough to complete my senior secondary education in Lagos, where I was born and raised.
Why didn’t you further your education?
I sat for the JAMB exam three times but, unfortunately, could not gain admission into any universities. This was very discouraging, especially since I also faced financial difficulties. That’s why I decided to learn hairdressing and started making hair for people; it’s an inbuilt gift, and I became quite skilled within a few months.
How do you feel about not being able to gain admission to a higher institution?
Whenever I think about it, I feel sad. I have always dreamed of becoming a journalist or newscaster, but that dream didn’t come true. However, life goes on, and I always try to stay hopeful.
How long have you been working as a hairstylist?
I don’t own a shop at the moment, but I have been in the hair-making business for the past ten years. I pursued it because I didn’t want to be idle. I look forward to having my own salon, but finance has been a challenge. Still, I believe that there’s nothing God cannot do.
Share your experience regarding the surgeries carried out on your legs.
I underwent corrective surgeries on my legs on January 18 and 30, 2019. I later had the implants removed on September 29, 2020, and March 2, 2021, all thanks to a good Samaritan who helped me.
Did you feel better after the surgeries?
Yes! I felt much better and more confident in myself. The corrective surgeries improved my appearance and significantly boosted my self-esteem. Before, my condition was quite challenging and disheartening.
Was there ever a time when you felt depressed about your condition before the surgeries?
Yes, there was a particularly dark period when I became pregnant after being raped. The man involved denied the pregnancy, claiming he would never choose to be with someone like me – a physically challenged woman.
It was painful and devastating, not just because I was pregnant out of wedlock but because it was a traumatic experience.
When I realized I was pregnant, my world felt shattered. The weight of the situation was overwhelming. I felt lost, broken, and unsure of how to move forward.
However, deep down, I knew I had to keep going and be strong for the life growing inside me.
Despite the despair, I realized that giving up was not an option. I couldn’t end my life when another fragile and innocent life depended on me.
I battled depression for years but eventually accepted my fate. I learned to love myself.
The shocking part is that he was a family friend. When confronted by my family, he denied everything, insulted me, and insisted he would never choose to be with someone who looked like a “rejected sacrifice.”
That hurt deeply. However, I’ve learned over time not to engage in arguments or exchange harsh words with cruel individuals. I choose to rise above that.
Interestingly, this man who caused me so much pain has been begging for forgiveness. He is now married, and his wife recently had a baby. My child is now ten years old.
I usually remind myself that having a disability doesn’t mean the end of the world. The real end of the world comes when you don’t accept yourself.
If you keep looking down on yourself, no one else will see your worth. I had to develop a thick skin long ago.
Despite using crutches, my disability doesn’t stop me from doing household chores. I can go wherever I want. The only things I struggle with are fetching water and running, but I manage all other chores comfortably. I live alone in Port Harcourt and am accustomed to taking care of myself.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about your condition?
People have strange misconceptions about individuals living with disabilities. They often pity us for no reason and assume we are fragile and unproductive.
I remember a time when I was desperately looking for a job because I had run out of my medications. I dislike asking others for money, so I decided to apply for jobs instead.
There was a particular woman I approached to work for as a sales assistant. She told me, “I don’t want to stress you, and I’m worried your people will come after me.”
I felt crushed. I tried to explain that the job was flexible and that I could handle it, but she refused to consider me because of my condition.
It’s disheartening when people can’t see beyond a person’s disability. I truly believe everyone has abilities, regardless of their challenges. That’s why, on my Facebook page, I prefer to say I’m “differently abled” rather than disabled. There are things I can do that many people can’t, yet people often question and doubt my ability.
How do you stay strong during challenging times?
There was a moment when I almost poisoned myself because I felt overwhelmed. But then, I remembered that I’ve always been strong since childhood and told myself that I can’t be defeated now. Even on days when I don’t feel strong, I remind myself of the need to keep moving forward.
